Hand's Off
by Heavensdarkrosechild
Summary: Beckett and Castle are undercover as a couple in a club and things get a little...out of control.Lots of laughs and a bit of steam. OMGreek I've posted a new chapter!
1. Hand

HEY! This is not a new chapter it's a slight revision :) I read through it and corrected some grammer and stuff nothing major :) I promise to do another Chapter cause everyone was so insistent.

This popped into my head awhile back and I had to flesh it out so here it is :)

I like the word pop… does that seem weird to anyone?

* * *

"Ugh! You guys would never be believable. Get a little closer." Castle said squishing Ryan and Beckett shoulder to shoulder, "And relax Ryan don't be so stiff. You're going out on the town with a beautiful woman. You want to make the other guys jealous not think that you're gay." Castle admonished.

Ryan scooted closer to his red headed boss nervously.

Castle sighed in exasperation, "No no. Let me show you" he said switching places with the frazzled detective. Beckett rolled her eyes in exasperation; Castle's unwanted coaching was beginning to tax on her nerves.

"Because _you_ have _so much_ experience in undercover work, Castle" Beckett said mocking his advice.

"I do" Castle replied lifting his chin in challenge.

"Research for your little stories _does not_ count as professional undercover work" shot Beckett.

Ryan and Esposito watched the exchange with their usual amusement and morbid fascination as their ball crushing leader and their eccentric writer bickered with one another.

"Oh you wound me" Castle replied clutching at his heart in mock hurt and slipping one arm around her waist smiling at her with mocking charm. Her arm automatically wrapped around his back and pulled her body flush against his.

"I see you've done this before, Detective" Castle teased with a salacious wink.

She glared at him narrowing her eyes, "Get your mind out of the gutter, Castle"

He just grinned mischievously and she stiffened as she realized his hand had slipped to her ass when she had pulled him closer. Whether or not this action was unintentional Beckett couldn't be sure but with Castle as part of the equation the innocence of the act was questionable, never the less it needed to be corrected. She gave a wicked smile of satisfaction that didn't register in Castle's mind but instantly set Ryan and Esposito on alert.

"Castle…" she said turning into him as she put her hand on his chest and gave him a mesmerizing sultry stare.

"Yeah" He gulped almost imperceptibly then grinned as Beckett's hand glided up his chest to encircle his neck.

His grin quickly turned into a grimace of pain as she tightened her grip on his neck, squeezing with unbelievable force.

"…_Get your hand off my ass_…" she whispered seductively in his ear.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. " he called out in pain as her fingers bite into his flesh.

"_Now_" she commanded

"Okay. Okay. Okay." he said rapidly and quickly removing his hand from her backside and held up both hands in surrender.

Beckett glowered at him, retracting her grip on his neck, and pushed him towards Esposito.

"Dude, you're lucky she didn't snap your neck" muttered Esposito to the very chastened writer who was busy massaging said neck.

"You're lucky you still have that hand" added Ryan as he walked past the duo returning to Beckett's side to finish planning the operation.

"Now I can see why he's so hesitant to get close to her" griped Castle to Esposito who just chuckled.

Castle quickly got over the "death squeeze" as he called it and returned to correcting Ryan on proper behavior of a rich party boy and positioning the "couple". Beckett, sick of being prodded and poked by Castle, snapped, "You're _so_ much better at this Castle why don't you just take Ryan's place?"

"I'm flattered that you want me Beckett." He said returning to his earlier behavior.

Beckett rolled her eyes and gave him a glare that clearly said _in your dreams_.

"That's an excellent idea detective" interjected Captain Montgomery's voice.

The group turned to see Montgomery standing in the bullpen observing them.

Beckett stuttered, "Sir? I was only joking!" she said panicked

"Well it's obvious he knows what he's doing on this one and his connections in the night life could very well be useful" came the serious reply.

"Yes, sir. But… he's a civilian!" Beckett clawed for an excuse for Castle not to go undercover with her.

"He's helped us out before, detective, and if he agrees to sign all the right waivers I don't see what the problem is." reasoned the captain.

"It's too dangerous, sir." She said desperately searching between Ryan and Esposito for some support.

Ryan was just glad he wouldn't have to go undercover and make out with his boss, not that she wasn't drop dead gorgeous but it would be…awkward.  
Esposito was grinning from ear to ear, this was just too good, Beckett and Castle undercover pretending to be a couple. Tonight couldn't get any better.

"It's a routine operation Beckett. Get him set up and wired." The Captain commanded and walked back to his office. He paused in his doorway, "Oh, and we got word that the club our suspect will be attending tonight is called Wired"

Beckett choked and Castle grinned naughtily.

"You know the place?" Montgomery asked intrigued.

"Yes, sir." Beckett said tingeing a slight pink.

The captain raised his eyebrows in inquiry.

"The dress code is…" began Beckett hesitantly.

"A little more _loose_ than normal at times" Castle supplied smoothly and for once Beckett was grateful for his interjection.

Montgomery shrugged and entered his office.

Beckett sighed in relief at her captain's departure. She really preferred not to be the one to inform her boss that the dress code for women at this club was what could be considered no more than wire. The dresses worn by the women tended to be less dress and more flesh.

Esposito grinned. Correction, tonight just got a whole lot better. He turned to Ryan, "Where do you think she'll hide her gun and badge this time?"

"Where did she hide it last time?" inquired Ryan thinking back to that red dress and the first time they'd seen their boss completely dressed up and decked out.

The men grinned at one another.

"Boys" Beckett barked a warning as she watched all three men drool.

* * *

Gobble-dee goop! So kick it into gear and let me kno what you thought :) In essences that means REVIEW…duh!!!

Always review no matter what, even if the story is months old, even if you hated it cause guess what?!?!?! You spent the time to read it meaning I accomplished my goal MWAUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…..cough….gasp….HA!, oh and even if you happen to be dying cause you kno you could do one more good deed before you die and make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside…of course if you tell me you're dying I may not be so happy but…it'll counter balance


	2. The Dress

HAHA! I escaped the evil clutches of essay writing but only temporarily! I must type as fast as possee-blay! (possible)

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"Esposito, get Castle wired up. I'm going to get changed." Beckett called as she headed towards the lockers.

The black dress bag she'd asked Lani to pick up was hanging in her locker. Beckett slowly unzipped the bag in dread, a flash of shimmering dark smoky silver confirmed her fears and she groaned. The dresses that she'd worn in front of Castle and her colleagues had all, excluding the hasty number she'd thrown together to rescue Castle from the Russians, been tasteful, maybe a little racy, but definitely tasteful. This little number currently occupying the black dress bag was anything but classy, racy; most definitely, tasteful; absolutely not, sexy; no doubt, with a main course of slut. In essence she wouldn't even deign to call it a dress.

The "dress" currently occupying her locker had actually been a gag gift from Lani for Beckett's thirtieth birthday. She'd tried it on at the insistence of her best friend then hastily extracted her overly exposed body from it and hung it at the back of her closet where it only saw the light of day when she cleaned out said closet.

The dress was forgotten until Lani on occasion saw fit to allude to its existence and send them into fits of laughter, Beckett's tinged with embarrassment. Tonight, unfortunately, presented the perfect opportunity to wear the dreaded dress. She'd specifically told her friend that under no certain circumstances was that dress to end up in the bag but the look on Lani's face was anything but innocent as she handed the over the dress bag. The smile Lani gave her clearly told the detective that her friend had disobeyed the order.

Beckett muttered explicit curses to herself as she extracted the "dress" from the bag.

Lani interrupted her curses, "You know I did good."

Beckett whirled and glared at her best friend.

"I searched through that closet of yours. Half those dresses are outdated and the other half weren't fit for this operation. You don't exactly have the 'rich party slut' wardrobe, Kate" Lani said her hands raised in defense, a smirk playing at her lips.

Beckett rolled her eyes and grumbled, "I'm sure you could have come up with something, anything other than this dress."

Lani grinned, "I'm good but I'm not that good…besides this was so much more… fun"

Beckett snorted.

"Get over it" commanded Lani, "Sit down so I can do your hair."

* * *

Tussled, teased, hair sprayed, flat ironed, and a few tastefully placed pins later, Beckett's hair was done.

Lani smiled proudly, "I do good work. Now for the make-up"

Lani turned towards the dress and examined it thoroughly as she mapped out what products to use. Eyeliner, foundation, and a line of beauty products applied, Lani gave a satisfied smirk as she applied one last swipe of lip gloss to Beckett's lips.

"Gorgeous, girl! Now slip into that dress" Lani said with a naughty grin. Beckett shimmied into the dress and made her way out of the locker room, Lani following close behind.

"Don't you have dead bodies to attend to?"Beckett hinted.

"They're dead they can wait. I want to be there for the unveiling. I'm sure a certain writer's reaction will be priceless."

Beckett rolled her eyes and her cheeks warmed, "Will you get off that already? Richard Castle goes after anything with two legs and a chest at least a 32AA"

"Doesn't keep you from wantin' him" Lani replied slyly.

Beckett snorted and rolled her eyes, "Yeah, right."

As they walked through the precinct hallways the women were followed by wolf whistles, dropped jaws, and a few noises of disbelief.

"I may have a few extra bodies to tote back to the morgue" Lani mentioned.

They grinned wickedly and veered towards the bullpen. "Ryan might just have a coronary." Lani added.

Beckett swayed sexily into the bullpen. Ryan looked up from a file, did a double take of Beckett, inhaled sharply, and choked in shock. He punched Esposito trying to get his friend's attention.

"Dude, you really need to stop choking on your own…" Esposito trailed off as he caught sight of Beckett, "Now, _**that's**_ hot." he said with a smirk. Beckett rolled her eyes indulgently.

Beckett spotted Castle sitting in her chair, oblivious, with his nose buried in a file and his feet on her desk.

"Castle!" Beckett barked, "Feet off-"

"the desk" Castle finished for her, his voice muffled behind the file. He quickly extracted his feet from her desk, he may have been mocking her but she still had a gun.

"If you have to get that close to the file, Castle, perhaps you need glasses." Lani teased.

"Ah, the beautiful Dr. Perish. What brings you to the land of the living? Did you find something on the…" Castle trailed off as he lowered the file and caught sit of Beckett standing before him.

More precisely he caught site off smooth toned never ending legs. His gaze traveled upwards and onwards from toned calves to perfect knees, he waited desperately to be stopped by cloth only to find his gaze unhindered. He was free to gaze at beautiful toned thighs until, finally, smoky shimmering silver cloth halted his wandering eyes and pinned them a few centimeters shy of being indecent.

The smoky satin material clung desperately to the few inches of thigh it was connected to and held tight to her hips. He yanked his gaze upward and followed the silky material only to be jarred from the smooth material by a triangle of lacy black that bordered flesh. Just above the lacy black he was faced with her perfect innie bellybutton that was exposed to his wandering gaze and the urge to run his fingertip along the inner ridge. He curled his fingers into a fist reigning in the impulse and tearing his gaze from the perfect belly button onto the highway of flesh flanked by smoky silver satin.

His piercing blue eyes traveled over her exposed abdomen and upwards hoping that soon the highway of flesh would soon be closed by the flanking cloth.

Oh, the cloth finally came together, not the way he expected of course. The same black lace that triangled below, connected the smoky cloth and accentuated certain…assets…a pair to be exact…a pair that he was staring at far to long. He flinched, the image of gun flashing in his minds eye, dragged his eyes to her beautiful bare collar bone that was tickled by her loose hair, traveled up her long neck to her shining full lips that seemed to be shaping words, and finally made it to her scowling eyes.

"CASTLE!...CASTLE!" she called.

"I think writer boy is in shock" snickered Esposito.

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Okay there is more to come but I figured ya'll deserved this chappy!!!!

Don't make me threaten you for reviews *scowling intimidating-ly*


	3. The REAL chap 3 lol: The Van

OMG! LOL for some reason it uploaded the wrong chap...I couldn' figure out y yall weren't reviewing so i go to look at my chapter to see if it was totally atrocious and it came up with a repeat LMAO...actually it wasn't that funny Anyways Sorry!!

Ya kno it's so much easier to write fanfic than it is to do homework like the term paper I finally finished!!!!!! Start cheering people cause I don't have another essay for three days!

I have to thank all of you for reviewing! I don't think I've ever had so many enthusiastic reviews :D that doesn't mean you can stop reviewing, you can't see it but I am glaring at you right now…if you don't review i will smite you -_-

Moving on!

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The vibrating base of the club music thrummed out into the night air of the city and wound through the thick line of people crowding the front entrance to the club. The line of people snaked down the block and beyond, twisting behind a corner and disappearing from sight. Bright spotlights were tilted upward, illuminating thick dangerous looking barbed wire that was shaped into cursive letters that read, "Wired". Pieces of clothing hung from a few of the dangerous looking barbs.

Castle snickered, "Artistic," he said, commenting on the bright red thong that hung on the middle tip of the W.

Beckett rolled her eyes from her seat in the back of the surveillance van, "Focus, Castle." She said. It was annoying how often she seemed to be doing that tonight, it felt as if she was constantly rolling her eyes and telling him to focus…mostly telling him to focus his gaze on her face. She'd tried threatening him with her gun but that just seemed to make it worse, his eyes would glaze over and a dreamy smile would replace his usual childish grin. She'd settled for putting on a jacket...not that it had helped.

They were parked in a dark alley with an unobstructed view of the club. The equipment in the van made it a tight fit. Beckett and Castle were waiting for Ryan and Esposito to return.

"So, you never did tell me how we're supposed to get into the club. I don't think standing in that," Castle said jerking his head at the enormous line, "is going to get us very far in the investigation or close to the suspect."

"I thought you knew how this worked, Castle" Beckett said with a superior smirk.

"You're going to flash your badge?" Castle said eagerly as his eyes glazed over and perused her body searching for any sign of her elusive badge and gun. The small clutch bag she had wasn't big enough for either object and she refused to give up the location of her required trade tools. He didn't mind, trying to figure out where those objects were located was half the fun.

"No" came the disappointing reply, "That would defeat the purpose of _undercover_" she said slowly as if he lacked the capacity to understand.

Castle gave a disappointed pout, "Oh… my publicist is usually the one who does all the club stuff for me. I just show up in my limo and they let me in"

"Your publicist?" Beckett said with a raised eyebrow

"Contrary to belief, I'm really not much of a clubber."

Beckett snorted in disbelief, "Your police record for drunk and disorderly says otherwise, so do the magazine covers. I'm surprised you're not on the V.I.P. list and offering your services to get us in." Beckett finished, her voice dripping sarcasm.

"You can't believe everything you read, Detective" replied Castle trying to distract her. He wasn't about to admit that he'd tried getting on the list but his contact fell through and calling up the Mayor for this particular request wouldn't get him anywhere, "Otherwise we'd be sleeping together." He added.

Beckett glared at him, "_Excuse_ _me_!"

"I'm just repeating what Sherri at the front desk told me-"

"What?!" Beckett burst out, still trying to wrap her head around his last statement. She hadn't realized just how out of control things had gotten. The reporter from the magazine asking if her and Castle were involved was one thing but people in the precinct thinking she was sleeping with Castle was a whole other ball game.

"Apparently last week's issue of Gossip claimed you and I are 'sexually engaged' " Castle said using air quotes, "Those are their words not mine. Sherri cornered me in the break room and asked me about it. Actually, her exact words were 'Is she any good in bed?' I had to stop myself from dropping my coffee and then I was all "Who?' and she was all-"

"Castle!" Beckett barked, "I don't want to know"

"Hey! If I do say so myself I'm really good in bed. You should be flattered."

Beckett snorted, "Hardly."

"Hey," called Ryan interrupting Castle's next words as he and Esposito opened the van, "We've got audio/visual set up and our men in disguise are posted at all possible exits"

"Good. Our guy just made an appearance" Beckett said nodding to the club entrance, where a very large and intimidating bouncer was unclipping the velvet rope for a tall man.

"So, what, are we just going to walk up there and they're going to magically let us in?" Castle said steering the conversation back to his original inquiry.

"Something like that…" Beckett said with a wicked smile.

Ryan and Esposito glanced at one another knowingly, that was a phrase they loved coming out of Beckett's mouth. It was a phrase that meant their boss was about to blow them out of the water. Castle had no idea.

"Let's go." Beckett commanded straightening her posture and exiting the van, slipping off the jacket she'd donned to keep Castle focused, not that it had helped.

Castle was frozen to the seat of the van, he'd never had the opportunity to see the back of the dress, Beckett had put on a jacket before he'd gotten the chance, why she'd put on a jacket he had no idea but now that she'd taken it off…

Two Xs of black lace stretched across her back connecting the smoky material and accentuating her bare flesh. Bare flesh that extended just below the dimples of her lower back to be covered by smoky material that encased her toned backend muscles.

"Writer boy'z been left incapacitated again, Boss." Esposito called to Beckett's retreating form as he smirked at Castle's frozen form.

Beckett turned back around, not that that helped Castle, and roared, "CASTLE! I WILL SHOOT YOU! Quit perusing my ass"

Beckett's irate voice jolted Castle into motion and he was by her side quicker than a jack rabbit.

"Just doing research. Got to make sure I get it right for the book." he quiped.

A chorus of 'Ow! Ow! Ow!' could be heard echoing through the dark alley.

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HUGGLES!!!!

It was brought to my attention that I misspelled Lanie Parish lol sorry :)

Okay my rabid squirrels REVIEW REVIEW and you wont turn blue!!!


	4. The Plan

Sing me Happy Birthday right now! or you don't get any story -_-

Everyone must review today as a gift to me!!!! YEAH!

Okay hear with our ears we GO!

* * *

After punishing Castle accordingly Beckett strode from the alley way and towards the club. Castle rushed to catch up, carefully keeping out of range of her long quick fingers.

"Keep back one or two paces," Beckett commanded and continued on towards the club.

Castle didn't have any problem following that particular order, it meant he was far away from her nose pinching, ear twisting, neck squeezing hands…it also meant he had a perfect view of her-

"Castle!"

He flinched at the tone of her voice, how did she know? How did she always know?

As they approached the club her fast walk became a slow saunter with an extra sway of the hips. Every guy in a three mile radius was watching her, mesmerized. But it was almost as if their looks couldn't touch her, she was unattainable. That unattainable air did nothing to calm Castle's death glares at the perusing men, not that anyone noticed his glares. Castle wondered exactly what her plan was as the distance closed between them and the entrance with the very large and very scary bouncer. A bribe maybe or perhaps secretly flash her badge…seduction seemed likely with the way she was walking...what he got was completely unexpected.

Just as they reached the entrance her small clutch bag tumbled to the ground flying open. Objects scattered every direction and Beckett gave a girly squeal of "Oh no!" Her face was a picture of shock and dismay as she positioned herself soley for the bouncer's view, bending down to pick up her clutch bag. Men darted from their positions in line to grab at the scattered items and hastily surround her, lamenting her misfortune and hoping to catch her eye. She simpered over the men for a few moments then ignored them opting to organize her fallen belongings.

Castle watched in amazement still not sure of her plan as all of this played out. He watched her movements intently; it would make a really good scene for his next book. His brows furrowed in confusion as she made as if she was going to leave and continue on down the street. The bouncer was forced to call out, "Miss!?" he rumbled. Beckett ignored the call and the bouncer yelled for her again leaning over the velvet rope. Beckett half turned clutching the bag, her face that of complete innocence and inquiry as she elegantly pointed to herself. The bouncer nodded in the affirmative. Beckett laughed a mesmerizing tinkle and walked in an almost delicate fashion with a hint of spice, a walk utterly different from the pure saunter moments ago.  
"Aren't you just the cutest?" she gushed, her voice seemed to reach an octave higher, "I've never been called miss before" She giggled stopping just beyond the rope, "What's the matter, Officer?" she questioned. Castle and a few others couldn't help but snicker as the bouncer almost cracked a prideful grin.

"I'm not an Officer, miss but I am a registered and certified security guard."

"Oh," she said disappointed, "But you're so big and strong and so smartly dressed. Isn't that one of those baton thingies that policemen carry?" she simpered, reaching over the velvet rope to brush her fingers over the hilt of the aforementioned baton.

"Yes, miss. But those are standard issue for all persons qualified in security fields." He said puffing out his chest, "I'm a bouncer for this club." He said jerking his head towards the club entrance.

Beckett looked around blinking owlishly in surprise as if just noticing where she was, "Oh! This is a club?!"

The bouncer nodded.

"Well, I think you should be an officer," she pouted, "You certainly fit the bill" she said looking him up and down.

"Tried, miss-"

"Enough with the miss," Beckett whined, "My name is Kate, Katie to people I really like" she purred, "And I think they don't know their heads from their asses if they wouldn't let you in, Jamie"

Jamie looked at her in surprise, "How did you know-"

He was cut off by her tinkling laugh and a pleasant blush, "Your name tag, silly" she said fingering the silver tag. Jamie grinned stupidly.

"So what was it you wanted?"she asked looking up at him through her lashes

Jamie bumbled, "You- Your stuff, you dropped" he handed her a credit card and what looked to be mini mace.

"Oh! You sweet handsome man" she gushed and to Castle's amazement managed to balance on her tiptoes in six inch heels. From her tiptoes she stretched upwards placing one hand on his bulging crossed forearms to place a kiss on his cheek. Jamie blushed a deep pink.

Beckett or rather 'Katie' peered around Jamie curiously, "So what is this place like?"

"Club Wired? It's run by Perry Ramsy. He owns two other clubs in the area. Dancing, drinks, lounging, gambling" Jamie listed with a shrug.

'Katie' sighed forlorn, "I was suppose to go clubbing tonight. I was on the V.I.P list and do you know, they gave my spot to some celebrity," She pouted, "I got all dressed up and pretty tonight and it all went to waste" she said smoothing her hand down her waist.

"Well…"Jamie began hesitantly, "You could go here."

'Katie' smiled, "The lines kinda long, Jamie. I really don't want to stand in that with these heels. That's why I gave up and headed home" she said stretching out her leg and twisting her wicked looking heels this way and that drawing attention to her toned leg.

"I could let you in," Jamie rumbled quietly.

'Katie' looked up at the spotlighted sign with a look of contemplation and hesitation.

"Won't you get in trouble?" she questioned with concern.

Jamie smiled, "Nah, Perry'd understand. You're too beautiful to pass up and we can't let all the time you spent gettin' ready to go out and try to enjoy yourself go to waste." He winked.

She lightly slapped him and giggled. She leaned forward, using his shoulder to pull him down, murmured in his ear, "You're such a teddy bear."

Jamie blushed again.

"You're positive you won't get in trouble?" she asked

He nodded the affirmative and unhooked the rope.

"Okay" she said bouncing through and pecking him on the cheek. Castle followed quickly behind but Jamie cut him off.

"Nah uh, just the lady, party boy." Jamie said gruffily.

"Do you know who I am?" started Castle.

"Oh" 'Katie' said interrupting, "That's my ride tho" she said caressing Jamie' forearm, "I can't go without him. He's kinda a personal bouncer, ya kno, for those guys who just won't take no for an answer."

"He doesn't look like much" scowled Jamie.

"He's not."

"Hey!" Castle protested.

"Just a convenient decoy." She said ignoring his protested. "You tho…" she said perusing his muscles, "What time is your shift over?" she whispered in his ear fiddling with his shirt cuff.

"I get break in two hours."

"I guess I can wait" she said looking through her lashes with a sly smile

Jamie grinned no longer miffed by Castle's presence.

"Two hours is a long time without an escort. Can I keep him?" she asked almost as if she was asking to keep a dog.

Jamie grimaced but lifted the rope for Castle.

"He'll keep me free for you" she said with a smirk sauntering into the thrumming club. Castle followed close behind with a slight scowl that was mixed with awe at her performance.

They heard a whistle of appreciation, clearly Esposito, in their audio plugs, "Way to go, Boss" said Ryan. Beckett just grinned.

Beckett and Castle walked into the club and were stunned by the loud vibrating music. Dim colored lighting illuminated 'interesting' activities going on in the many nooks and crannies. Beckett headed to the elevated bar area, which was the best tactical position, avoiding the hungry gaze of the male populace.

"Bar, Castle." Beckett commanded. Gone, was the high pitched girly lilt and back was the full kick ass sarcastic woman who played with the big boys. Castle didn't realize how much he'd missed his Kate, he didn't like Bimbo Katie… he wasn't sure how he felt about sexy kick ass Kate, but he dealt with that one every day. Bimbo Katie was scary.

"You gonna start playing your part, Castle or just keep watching me like some creepy stalker?" Beckett stopped and murmured in his ear as she wrapped her arm around his waist, nuzzling his cheek.

"It's not creepy if you like it, Beckett" he rumbled nuzzling her ear, returning the favor.

Beckett scoffed then smiled brightly at an extremely handsome man a few feet away. Castle growled and tugged Beckett closer to his body as the man walked towards them. Castle quickly moved them away from the presumptuous man and towards the bar.

"Jealous, Castle?" Beckett mocked amused.

* * *

otay otay waz sayz you?

If you don't give me what i want... OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!!!!!! and i can cause iz my bday.


	5. In the Corner

First off thank you for the Birthday wishes they made me feel so special :D and thank you for the plethora of reviews!!!

(An aside for Nikki Jay because I couldn't respond to your post: I have tons of my own stuff! I thank you for the deep compliment and feel free to PM me!)

The rest of you all rock and I really hope you enjoy this chapter and sorry it took so long to get it out!

My threat of the day if you don't review…simple…you die a horribly wicked complicated death by Brundies (see profile)

* * *

When they reached the bar, Beckett pulled away and searched the crowd.

"You spot our suspect yet, Boss?" garbled Ryan's voice in their earpieces.

Beckett let out a curse, "Jesus, Ryan. Fix the reception." She snapped as she ducked her head and tugged at her ear.

"Sorry, Boss"

"And it would help if I had a second set of eyes. Castle! You can search for your future deep fried Twinkie later," Beckett barked over the music at a very distracted Castle.

"Jealous, Beckett?" Castle asked sweetly.

"That you're perusing the bimbos? Not really," she said scanning his future prospects.

"Just studying the suspects making sure none of them are our guy in disguise," Castle quipped.

"Not going to happen, Castle" she said rolling her eyes.

"You never know. In Rise of the Storm, Derek-"

"This is real life, Castle, not one of your novels." Beckett scoffed

"And dude that's just plain gross" interjected Esposito on the other side of the com.

Beckett glared at Castle as he disobeyed her orders and perused another scantily clad woman making eyes at him.

Castle smirked as his eyes flickered over her irate expression, "But still there's that little nagging piece of you that's jeal-"

Beckett scoffed, "In your dreams, Castle"

"Quite often" he growled slightly teasing but all too serious.

Beckett scanned the area, ignoring Castle's tease, and noticed that people were giving them sideways looks. She couldn't be sure if they were recognizing Castle and possibly herself, with all the hype the Nikki Heat books were getting it was possible, but it didn't matter it only served to remind her that she needed to amp it up, slid into character, and blend in. This was possibly the only time to catch this guy and she wasn't going to blow it because she hadn't put her all into becoming the sultry party girl.

Castle watched as a change came over Beckett and something flashed in her eyes mesmerizing Castle while simultaneously making his mind scream in warning.

Beckett relaxed her stance and let go of Kate Beckett NYPD and flowed into a whole new persona. The change was fluid and shocking for those who knew her.

She melted into Castle turning to press her body to his, brushing her lips to his ear, "Call me Kat like a feral feline, Rick." She purred nuzzling her ear.

Castle stiffened with shock, "Holy Damn." He muttered as she walked backwards towards the dance floor pulling him by the front of his shirt. She stared into his eyes and swayed her hips seductively to the beat of the pulsing bass.

Castle was too devoted to watching her to really do much more than, well, stare at her. He really, really, really should have been keeping an eye out for their guy but he was a man, after all, and Katherine Beckett was all woman right now. There was no cop lingering in this persona, just…woman.

The Bimbo Katie act had been impressive, Sultry Kat was…phenomenal…and delicious and oh so dangerous.

"Kat" leaned forward and whispered, "Ryan, Esposito, you got anything?"

"Not yet, Boss," answered Ryan

"Nice dancing" added Esposito, the naughty grin palpable in his voice.

"Where'd you learn how to dance like that, Beckett?" teased Ryan.

Castle stared at her wondering.

"Kat" smiled slyly and whispered seductively, "I took _special_ classes."

The emphasis on special stunned all three men into silence as possibilities flooded their fried minds.

"Got him!" she murmured excitedly.

"Ooo! Are you bringing out your badge and cuffs now?" Castle said loudly in excitement snapping from his shock.

People turned to look at them.

"Kat" tipped her head back and let out a sexy, throaty laugh, "Oh, Rick we haven't even started yet." She wrapped her arms around his waist pulling herself to his ear and hissed, "What the hell, Castle? Are you trying to blow our cover?"

Castle mumbled his apology as he tried to wrap his brain around her easy shift from "Kat" to "Beckett".

She moved with the music moving them across the dance floor and positioned them in one of the "naughty" corners directly across from Conner Odell, their primary suspect.

"Time to kick it up a notch, Castle. You think you can keep up?" she said with a smirk as she settled her hand on his ass.

Castle gulped, she was basically inviting him to grope her…actually that's exactly what she was doing. This could go two ways and he wasn't sure he could keep himself from going too far. Asking him to touch her without offending her was going to be very difficult. He gathered a bunch of math equations he'd been attempting to help Alexis with the other night and began to work through them as a distraction.

"Camera angles are good, Boss. You're going to need to kick up your acting a notch, our guys watching." Ryan informed them.

"Castle," Beckett growled, "I know I'm not a fucking Twinkie," she hissed, "But you can at least fringe interest. Imagine one of your bimbos if it helps."

Castle sputtered, "That's not-" he began trying to protest but his voice died in his throat his she roughly grasped his wrist and placed his hand on her ass.

He broke and the carefully gathered diversions blew from his head.

He pushed her into the corner of the space and growled, "I don't like Twinkies,"grabbing one of her legs he wrapped it around his body and murmured against her lips, "I like…" he said giving a wild grin against her lips, "…feral kats."

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Waha! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW or eat dirt…your choice!

I have more to come, of course.


	6. Feral and OH CRAP!

My tardiness in getting out this chapter in NO WAY excuses ya'll from reviewing if you don't review no more chapters…I shall hold to that threat  
x( …so there

Anyways I do apologize but after I got out of school I just didn't have any energy my finals seemed to suck out my soul but then I realized it was just hiding under the stairs :D Pheeeew for awhile there it was kinda rough without a soul lol

* * *

Katherine Beckett prided herself in her ability to take things in stride. Unfortunately, in the moment Castle finally decided to join the game, that particular ability chose to flee her body. And as a result she was left with a compulsory reaction that she developed while dealing with Castle and his incessant need for corporal punishment. She wondered, for a split second, what that said about him that he only responded to pain and well placed threats.

As his hand slid over her ass, her hand, well, her hand responded to an ingrained reaction and snaked its way up his chest by its own volition and encircled the back of his neck. In her defense it was his fault, it had become an automatic reaction to his disobedience and constant testing of her boundaries. She'd had to arm herself somehow and her choice of weapon had developed into a three part attack: grab some unprotected piece of open flesh, squeeze, and listen victoriously as he squealed his protest as she taunted him in the process of enjoying her victory.

She, at least, had the presence of mind not to tighten her fingers into their iron grip…at least, that _was_ the case…until he whispered in her ear then all hell broke loose.

"You are an extraordinary woman, Katherine Beckett," he murmured. His voice was husky and deep; vibrating deliciously in her ear but desire was not what tightened her fingers about his neck.

And unfortunately, he couldn't have predicted her reactions to his words, no one could have.

The image of his book dedication flashed through her mind and those particular words printed in the book were a sore subject for Kate. They brought up a whole lot of "stuff" that lay buried like nuclear waste between the detective and writer.

Something inside Kate snapped, and the particular 'something' that snapped, in essence, did not bode well for the man currently wrapped around her.

Beckett's whole person suddenly became a solid brick wall and her hand tightened painfully about Castle's neck but Castle was too distracted by her profuse amounts of flesh to really notice the sudden change.

Beckett launched herself away from the 'naughty nook' pushing Castle with her and managing to maintain their close body contact. She bullied him away from the corner her face full of fury and her eyes brimming with volatile rage.

"Not a deep fried Twinkie, am I, Castle." She snarled in his ear and violently shoved him away from her, disgust smearing her face. "Extraordinary?" She hissed.

Castle stumbled backwards confused and a little frightened, he had a feeling she didn't like the word extraordinary. He could see why maybe…from another angle the word appeared to be extra-ordinary and that could seem like an insult but seeing as he hadn't said extra-ordinary he couldn't really justify her anger. He could try though and try desperately he did because a pissed off raging Kate Beckett was terrifying. He never seen her lose control, she was always the essence of calm, her anger always in check.

"I'll show you feral, _Richard_." She spit his name and it rolled off her tongue as a curse. "You don't know feral" she snarled, circling him as if he were her prey.

Castle eyed her warily, had he been an animal the whites of his eyes would have been thoroughly exposed and rolling in terror as he craned his head to watch her circle behind him.

"It's a game to you, isn't it?" questioned Kate with distain.

The question was obviously rhetorical and he wasn't about to answer, he may not be able to see her but the sneer was evident in her voice as she spoke, "All those women flocking to you like your some god. Grovel at your feet, worship you. You like to play, especially, with the _Twinkies_. It doesn't matter that they don't have any substance. You like signing their boobs, ogling them in their tiny expensive Couture dresses, and appraising them like pieces of meat. It's a game to you men." She ranted poking him hard in the chest to emphasize her words as she came around his front forcing him backwards with each jab. "Games are only fun until someone gets hurt, _Richard_." She snarled, who knew his name could sound so dirty and not at all in a good way.

Kate may not have had the ability to stop the deluge of emotions and the product of those emotions coming out in words but she did, however, have the presence of mind to use the scene she was causing to her advantage.

She swept his feet out from beneath him. Castle went flailing and tumbled, landing with a loud wumph in Conner Odell's private booth.

"You want feral Kat?" she hissed, barring her teeth in a vicious taunting smile, "You won't last very long" she said appraising his prone body sprawled across the booth, "They never do" she added snarling as she pounced on him straddling his hips with grace that any feline would envy.

Castle's eyes widened to saucers as 'Feral Kat' trailed her fingers up her left thigh and beneath her dress. There was a distinct expletive of "Holy Shit!" that could have issued from anyone, Odell or even possibly his own lips but he couldn't really be sure considering he was about ready to have a heart attack. Something he really wasn't expecting was her hand to come back from its trip occupied. What she pulled out from beneath her dress would have sent him into epileptic shock if he wasn't so numb with confusion.

Kate held the switch blade with deadly grace and deftly flicked it open, "I like danger in my games. You know what I find…stimulating when I'm playing feral, Ricky?" she purred, "Claws. Really sharp claws but since I didn't have time to sharpen mine this morning…" she said pouting her lips in disappointment, "I think I'll have to substitute," she said twirling the blade in her hand and plunging it next to Castle's head, smoothly slicing through the leather covered booth he was sprawled on.

Castle grunted in panic but otherwise didn't dare move. And just as quickly as she had pounced on him pinning him to the booth like hunted prey she was off him in less than a blink of an eye releasing her quarry and turning to something with more interest.

As Castle scrambled off and away from the booth catching the flash of her badge as she confronted Odell he wondered for a split second where the hell she'd hidden the thing. He was whirling in confusion and was quite frankly lucky that the backup had their arrival otherwise he'd be lying on the floor concussed by the big meaty paw of one of Odell's thugs but as luck would have it the backup took down the thug and Castle was only clipped in the forehead, didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell.

Beckett, however, was not so lucky. It seemed Odell had overpowered her and Castle watched, wide eyed, as she was flung unceremoniously into the booth. As she hit the booth white dust exploded from the 'wound' she'd 'clawed' into the couch moments ago and coated her, invading her lungs. She was not perturbed, however, and just like a cat she recovered quickly, springing from the couch to follow the hastily retreating figure of Odell. Castle and many spectators watched in awe as Beckett's lithe body flew through the air stretching a seemingly impossible distance, tackling Odell to the ground where she twisted his arms up and behind his back cuffing him with more violence than usual. Fury and triumph shone in her eyes as she addressed her team through the com.

"Ryan, Esposito send in the extraction team. We're gonna need the K-9 squad."

"Got it covered, Beckett," replied Esposito.

"Oh and get me a bus."

"You okay, boss?" Ryan inquired not disguising his concern.

Beckett tossed her head angrily, forgetting for a moment that such indicators would not work to communicate in this situation.

"Boss?" Esposito joined when Beckett didn't reply.

"Well considering I think I just inhaled about a pound of methamphetamine and I'm pretty sure our guy is hopped up on some serious concoction of something that may be a new street drug, I'm gonna go with NO!" she snapped into the com as she handed Odell over to the custody of the backup team.

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Just how much of that was Feral Kat acting and how much of it was Kate acting out over some unresolved "stuff"....if you wanna kno you best review even a smiley face will do...that totally rhymed i am so proud of myself lol

Ooooo, Katie drugged with meth, yikes! This is gonna get interesting O_0 something tells me a certain someone is gonna have to be supervised by another someone.....and thats all im saying....and if you didn't get the hint....sucks to be you lol

SO?!? SO!?!?! What say you, my teeny tiny amigos?!!?!

BTW: I have no experience with any type of drug (unless you count Tylenol or Nyquil lol) so if my information that I researched is incorrect in the next chapter…I don't really care

**Drugs are bad stay away from them!!!!**


	7. And the Meth sets in

Can I get a Woooot Woooot! For getting this chappy out much quicker than the last two!

Review my friends or I'll just quit writing and you won't get any more from me……..not an idle threat not if it will get you to tell me what you think

All previous rules for reviewing apply I will accept a simple smiley

Enough of my idiocy and let us turn to our adventurous duo!!!

* * *

Castle listened to Beckett recounting of events to the male officer taking her statement and patched the gaping holes in his memory.

Apparently, Beckett had seen Odell complete a transaction with a club member and upon witnessing the exchange she moved into action. Not wanting to alert Odell to the police presence and give him an opportunity to bolt and magically disappear, as he had a tendency of doing, she used their "fight" to draw closer to Odell and distract him. She hadn't expected the twenty kilos of meth stashed in the booth or the inhaling of said stash, the K-9 squad was currently searching the club for more.

As the officer finished with the report Beckett sat heavily on a nearby booth and hung her aching head in her hands, massaging her temples in earnest. Her legs jittered violently up and down, an uncontrollable urge, a result of the meth slowly bleeding its way into her system.

Castle's brows furrowed in concern, "Where are the paramedics?"

"With Odell," Beckett said, her voice clipped with strain.

Castle looked at her in abhorrence and made a noise of protest.

Beckett snorted in turn and looked up at him wincing, "Druggie with a new street drug running through his veins and possible broken ribs," she said with a vicious grin, happy she'd managed to get the man back for her fly through the air, "takes precedence over a hopped up cop. Samples of his blood will give us a heads up on the newest drug product on the street."

Castle continued to scowl at no one in particular. Beckett sighed and rubbed her shaking palms on her pants, "If it makes you feel any better I ordered them to attend to Odell first."

Castle glared, "It doesn't" he almost snarled.

Beckett raised her eyes in surprise but otherwise didn't comment.

They lapsed into a tense silence that was shattered by a wicked smirk from Castle as he stared at Beckett intently, waiting, a predatory gleam not unlike "Feral Kat's" shining in his eyes.

Feeling his eyes tunneling into the back of her head, Beckett turned to capture the intense gaze, "What, Castle?" she snapped in irritation. She could feel the irritation bubbling under her skin, along with a strange sense of creeping euphoria, already anticipating the aggravation his next words were going to cause her, she knew the look plastered on his face, it was one that was intent on infuriating her.

"You _**are**_ jealous!" he crowed.

Beckett lunged toward his cackling frame her arms outstretched, "I'm going to-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence or get to hear the satisfying crunch as she tackled him to the ground instead she was firmly restrained by the approaching paramedics who caught her forearms and tugged her to her previous sitting position.

Beckett turned her attention to the paramedics, "I'm perfectly capable of-"

"Uh huh, we know" the woman paramedic said in exasperation and rolled her eyes as she cut off Beckett's protest, "But we let you do your job now we get to do ours," she reprimanded in exasperation, "Plus you promised, no fights or complaints if we examined Odell first. It's your turn." She said firmly giving Beckett a hard look, daring her to protest.

"Come on Kates, no arguing. It always puts Madison in a shoddier mood than she starts the day," charmed the male paramedic with a wicked grin in his partner's direction, who returned his tease with a glare and exasperated huff.

"She prefers, Detective Beckett." Castle corrected the handsome paramedic.

"Nah, Kates doesn't mind," the paramedic said simpering in Beckett's direction and Kate responded with a giggle.

"She doesn't like nicknames" muttered Castle darkly.

"Doesn't stop you," accused Beckett returning her attention to Castle with a petulant glare.

Madison rolled her eyes at her partner, "Stop antagonizing the man, Tommy," she said and turned an understanding smile in Castle's direction. "When you occasionally hold their life in your hands and ease their aches and pains they tend to let you call them anything. It's a privilege."

"I've helped save her life," grumbled Castle.

Beckett snorted, "You were the reason my life was in danger in the first place," she said ready to throw out quite a few numerous accusations, namely ones where Castle's impulsive behavior started a domino effect of disaster. "Maddy and Tom Tom are the bestiest ever! Aren't you guys?" Beckett gushed instead, distracted by the paramedics' ministrations. She pulled one arm free to pinch Tommy's cheek as she giggled uncontrollably.

Castle raised an eyebrow at her strange behavior.

"And that would be the meth." Tommy said laconically as he took her blood pressure, "She gets like this on Morphine, too." He added for Castle's benefit, Tommy could see the man was clearly concerned.

"NoooOOOooo," Beckett protested, drawing out the vowel in fascination.

"I take it you're acquainted well with Detective Beckett?" inquired Castle, intrigued; it could make some good plot filler.

The paramedics snickered, "You must not have known her for very long though she has seemed to have restrained her danger curve lately, " Madison said with a wry grin.

"Our girl is one of the law enforcement legends in the paramedic community." Tommy said flapping his hand, "She gets tangled in some serious situations and is damn lucky."

"Or unlucky depending on how you look at it, like that time we got called to the scene on Second and Fifth" Madison said with a grimace.

"Yeah, but that was a through and through and it missed all major organs. It healed in a perfect star shape for Christoffs sakes." Tommy said with a disbelieving shake of his head.

Madison laughed, "True," then her smile fell, "Not like that time she was caught in the hostage situation on Brook Street."

Tommy cringed.

Castle paled, "Wait, as in bullets? Real bullets…going through her body?" his voice came out in a hoarse high pitched rasp.

"What other kind are there, Ricky Ticky?" giggled Kate, her voice a high childish pitch much like Bimbo Katie. "Weeeeee! Look at the shiny lights they're spinning" she said enthralled by the beam of the flashlight Madison was shining in her eyes.

"Not just bullets, we're talking knife wounds, baseball bat to the ribs-" Tommy listed.

"Enough, Tommy. He gets it, we all get it." Madison snapped.

"She gets in a tizzy when she hears one of New York's finest needs our help." Tommy said behind his hand to Castle pretending to be covert.

"She's strong." Madison said with a sad smile, "It feels like she's invincible then she goes and gets herself hopped up on meth and I have to remember she's mortal like the rest of us."

"SUPER WOMAN! I am IMMORTAL!" squealed Beckett.

Castle grinned, he should be taping this.

Tommy matched Castle's grin, "Maddy, here, has hero worship syndrome-" Maddy scowled and punched Tommy in the shoulder, "-when it comes to your Detective, Mr…."

"Castle, Rick Castle," Castle replied watching their interaction with fascination.

"You're that writer guy, right? The one following around that police officer- DUDE! Nikki Heat is Kates?" Tommy chuckled, "Hell yeah! I could see how she would inspire you to right a whole series of books. I don't read 'em but my sister has like this major girl crush on Nikki Heat.

"If only women worshipped me the way they seem to worship you Kates, I could die a very happy man." Tommy said returning his attention to Kate.

"S'not happy s'ing to die. Deaths nots a hu-happy sch-thing" slurred Kate.

Castles eyes widened in panic and he turned to Madison for reassurance. He'd dealt with addicts before for research for his books but he'd been told that their reactions where much different from a first time user. He knew that methamphetamine could cause strokes and heart failure he'd done some cursory research for a Derek Storm novel.

"It's okay. The meth is inhibiting her speech." Madison said calming his nerves.

"She's not going into cardiac arrest or anything right?" he asked hesitantly.

Madison shook her head, "There is a slim possibility but given her excellent body shape and youth it's not likely and such a violent reaction is normally a result of repetitive use. We are going to have to require that someone be with her at all times for the next twenty-four hours. A precautionary measure given we don't know the exact amount she inhaled. High doses can elevate body temperature to dangerous, sometimes lethal, levels, as well as cause convulsions so we would like her caretaker to keep an eye on her temperature."

"I feel fine. Tons of energy in fact," Kate said brightly, "I can take care of myself. All by myself…" Kate began to chirp.

"You're coming home with me." Castle said firmly.

Kate giggled, "Whoopsie! It'll be soooo much fun. Will Alexis be there? Maybe I can braid her hair or clean. I really want to clean," the words tumbled from her mouth at triple speed.

"Are you familiar with the short-term effects of methamphetamines, Mr. Castle?" enquired Madison ignoring Kate's rambling.

"Euphoria, heightened alertness and greater energy, Heart, breathing, and blood pressure rates increase, and sensations of hunger and fatigue are reduced. The users' pupils are dilated, and reflexes are faster. Rapid speech often occurs, followed by slurred speech." Castle said replied rapidly.

Madison eyed him suspiciously.

"Research." He said calming the paramedic's accusatory gaze, "I did some minimal research for one of my books just looked up the short term effects. Normally, I would have done more in-depth investigating but my publisher was pushing the date. I interviewed some meth heads but they're not the brightest group of people."

"For a good reason. Meth causes serious damage to the brain" Tommy answered.

"Are we done yet? I want to go. There's so much to do." whined Kate, "I feel like I could run miles, and miles, and miles, and miles…."

"I think I'm in for a very long night," sighed Castle.

The paramedics chuckled then sobered. "You guys can go but the minute her temperature rises bring her into Mercy Hospital. If anything else feels off bring her in." Tommy said solemnly.

"Better to be safe than sorry," chimed Kate.

* * *

Ok so I hope that was satisfactory maybe it wasn't let me kno

Was there anything specific you guys wanted in the story maybe some more salacious behavior…you'll get it…eventually Mwahahahaha…sneeze


	8. Cars and Elevators

**ANNOUNCEMENT**: MONDAY is _INTERNATIONAL WEAR PIGTAILS_ and for all those guys out there its _INTERNATIONAL PULL the PIGTAILS_ (esp. on someone you really like)…yes this idea all came about because of episode 2.13 and my Pigtails one shot…duh! lol

Again **INFORMATION DISCLAIMER (skip it you don't give a shit unless you'r S&M…the reviewer not the uh…other thing…eww get your mind out of the gutter!)**: I am not a druggie, have never touched the stuff plan to never ever touch it and I plan to never put myself in a position that would cause me to do so accidently or otherwise. Thus, my information is second hand, what I researched and it was not in-depth research. My research was done quickly using the google search engine, as such I do not know the protocol or such that would be involved in an incident of inhalation of Meth. I was informed that some of my information was apparently incorrect so I am once again informing you, my readers, that this information is in no way positively correct or even comes close to actual usage of Methamphetamine. I will thank the particular reviewer for their insight and correction it's nice to learn something new but I will not however being changing the premise of my story to a completely aggressive Kate and the statistic given gave a 2 percent window anyways. Also I would like to thank the particular reviewer for their criticism :D unbelievable or not I appreciated their valid point and wish to apologize for my continual use of the word snarl in chapter 6 I got carried away and probably should have waited to post when I had slept more than three hours LOL Given that this reviewer didn't make it possible for me to respond I did so here and apologize to the rest of you who just had to read all this crap and would rather I shut up and get to the story WELL! Get your buts going and into the story for Christmas sakes.  
P.S. to the particular reviewer: I really enjoyed your insight please feel free to contact me I would really like to hear more from you, your insight was valuable and helpful :)

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Getting Beckett into the car had been easier than getting her to stay in the car, getting her to stay seated and in the moving vehicle had been a whole other matter. After the third stoplight and her reaching for the door handle to jump out of the car Castle was finally able to work the child lock mechanism in her vehicle and integrate its precautionary measures. Thankfully, Kate's attention span was just shy of being equivalent to that of a goldfish and she was too jittery to get a hold of the lock and pry it open.

Her attention span being what it was she flicked the radio on and off too many times to count and when she did have it on it didn't stay on one station for long.

When Castle, sick of the constant channel changing and cacophony of Spanish stations, static, and just overall crap, forbade her from touching the radio she resorted to playing with anything and everything she could get her hands on…sometimes resorting to use of her feet. At one point she leaned over and played with a button on his shirt.

His breath hitched in his throat as she toyed with the ivory button rubbing it between her fingers as she leaned over her seat and into his personal space.

"What-" he croaked trying to crush the image of her lips on his (just because she was incapacitated on Meth didn't mean she wasn't gorgeous) He cleared his throat and tried again banishing naughty thoughts with much effort, "Mmm… what are you doing?" he asked, his voice didn't come out nearly as smooth as he would have liked.

"It's shiny," She said in wonder, "I want to feel it shine. It's so bright" she said mesmerized.

Castle was going to bet her enthusiasm was a mixture of heightened senses and euphoria because his button was barely shimmering with the dull reflection of a dim street light. She began to tug at the button and he gently grasped her hand preventing her from stripping him down. Who would have thought that the great Richard Castle would be turning down and opportunity to be stripped by a gorgeous woman then again this predicament wasn't exactly normal.

A sigh of relief exploded from Castle as they approached his apartment building. Now he just had to struggle with getting her into the elevator and up to his home.

As it turns out getting her out of the car wasn't a problem. The minute the car rolled to a stop, Kate bolted from the car.

"FREEDOM!" she shouted excitedly and began to turn around in rapid circles in the parking garage. She looked like a child, well in Rick's eyes she looked like a child, to other persons (luckily there were none in the vicinity) she would more likely have been pegged as an extremely drunk New York party girl heiress and considering her state of dress she may also have passed as an escort in other eyes.

Her wild circling would have surely ended in broken bones if she had been wearing her heels. Castle was glad she had ripped off her dangerous six inch heels when she was first forced into the car, he cringed, of course she had practically stabbed him with them as she exclaimed she was quote a "Ninja with super sharp shoey weapons. Don't mess with me or I will shoe you" then proceeded to wave the shoes around erratically in the air stabbing at invisible foes some of which were extremely close to his precious male genitalia.

He approached her just as she stumbled dizzily and lost her balance. She reached out and grasped the lapels of his suit for support. He in turn staggered under her weight and pulled her close to keep them both from smashing to the concrete floor.

"Mmmm," she breathed as she buried her nose in his chest, "You smell…good," she purred.

Castle pushed her away quickly and took deep calming breaths.

Kate giggled, "Little Ricky is getting overly…stimulated."

Castle was plastered to the floor in shock but he recovered quickly and a slow grin made its way across his face. "Mmm yes but I can't help it when you come on to me Katie."

Kate leapt forward her hand shot out and whacked Castle sharply across the back of his head, "I told you, _do not_ call me Katie." She snapped as she quickly retreated.

Castle blinked, he'd felt the sharp pain in the back of his head before he'd even realized she'd move, Damn she was quick.

And just as quickly as she'd smacked him she was off and running.

"Race you to the elevator!" she shouted over her shoulder, her feet slapping against the cement floor and echoing off the concrete walls.

He shook himself out of his funk and raced after her hoping he reached the elevator in time, there was no telling where she would go if she ended up on the elevator alone, he'd have one hell of a time finding her.

He made it to her and the elevator just as the doors slid open with a ping. He took deep gulping breaths as he stepped into the elevator trying to calm his racing heart and satisfy his lungs need for oxygen. Kate cackled in delight, "I think someone is getting a tad out of shape." She wasn't even breathing mildly hard in fact it was perfectly languid and even.

Jesus Christ when his research had said "greater energy" he hadn't expected her to turn into fucking Speedy Gonzales.

"Stupid mouse" Castle griped to himself.

"MICE!?!?! Three blind mice! Three blind mice!" Kate caterwauled then dissolved into raucous laughter.

Castle looked at her askance; he hoped he'd never, ever again see this side of Katherine Beckett. Sure, it was nice to see her without a proverbial stick up her ass but he liked his Katie relaxed and confident, teasing him mercilessly about Twinkies and outlandish murder theories, not a child on crack. It would be nice to be exposed to her childlike state when she was no longer hopped up on Meth.

Castle was so deep in his musings that he failed to notice as the object of his thoughts light up every single floor on the elevator panel.

Rick was pulled from his revere by the ding of the elevator. He stepped off the lift to find himself in extremely unfamiliar territory…this was not his hallway. The whoosh of the doors beginning to shut behind him caused him to whirl and find that Kate had not followed him off the elevator. His eyes widened in panic and he lunged towards the closing doors only to run straight into hard cold metal. He'd missed the doors by a millisecond.

He raced towards the stairs and hoped to God he'd make it to the next floor before the elevator, that being unlikely he prayed that Kate would stay in the elevator and with that being just as unlikely as his first request, he begged that he'd find her before she wreaked too much havoc and didn't damage herself or anyone else in the process.

* * *

OK! My proverbial butterballs…um you know what lets go with a different term of endearment…how 'bout …Flibberty Flufferty Fangle Hopping Hippos….Ooooo me likey!

REVIEW OR GET YOUR BUTTERBALLS REMOVED! And your pigtails tied into horrendous knots that will end with your head getting shaved. I shall also steal every single clean pair of underwear you own and force you to wear dirty skivvies for the rest of your lives!!!!!

MMmmm…I think I've calmed down….give me love. Smiley faces are allowed and accepted as a form of review and I will retract the punishment above…however I can't make a promise about the underwear I'm running low on my supply for my poor imaginary creatures…they're real I tell you! REAL!

**ADDED INCENTIVE**: If enough of you review I will give you a special chapter on Monday in honor of _**INTERNATIONAL PIGTAIL DAY**_ and honor of your love, of course


	9. The Poor Elevator and the Pigtails

I'm sitting here in my pigtails contemplating what to write…I just almost fell out of my chair cause this idea just hit me full force…ok shut up stop laughing yes I lied, the idea wasn't epic I'm just retarded and have really bad balance….or is it good balance because I managed to catch myself and right the chair before I toppled to the ground which is an epic feat considering I'm sitting in one of those weird butterfly chairs on a super slippery hardwood floor….yep I'm the best balancing non retard act you have ever imagined…Stop laughing at me and just read the story…*glares*

_**OK so here's the technicality it's already Monday in Australia sooooo I'm posting now! So technically everyone must wear them today and tomorrow!!!! Waha! **_

It is INTERNATIONAL PIGTAIL DAY!!! REJOICE AND WEAR YOUR PIGTAILS GALS and all you guys out there get your quick pinching fingers ready to yank on those tails…word to the wise… you yank to hard and It'll be international kick you in the balls day…just giving you a polite warning…don't make me change the title of the day…

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Castle huffed his way up the stairs, scenarios of disaster running through his mind setting him into a panic.

He made it to the next landing and almost collapsed in relief. There she stood next to the elevator scowling and tapping her foot impatiently.

"Castle!" she yelled.

He held up his hand signaling her to wait a moment as he bent at the waist to catch his breath and relax his tortured muscles. Beckett stomped her way to his side, yanked him up right, and dragged him to the elevator.

"Jeez…what's got your panties in a twist?" puffed Castle as they waited for the elevator.

Beckett glared, Castle flinched as they stepped into the elevator. Irritability was an understatement for people on Meth those researchers needed to substitute aggression for irritability.

As Castle bent once again to catch his breath he missed the evil twitch of Kate's mouth.

"Who says I'm wearing any?" she questioned with a rumbled.

The big breath of air Castle had just inhaled exploded from his chest and transformed into rough coughing as he choked in shock.

Beckett snickered; pressing his buttons was so much more fun than pressing the elevator buttons.

Castle got his breathing under control and settled back against one of the metal walls.

"How are you feeling?" he asked cautiously.

"How do you think I'm feeling?" she snapped, "I feel like a fucking hummingbird," she growled as she attempted to staunch the never-ending movement of her jittering legs that bounced her up and down.

He watched Kate cautiously and deigned not to answer, feeling the dark tension that radiated from her. They stood in silence for a few moments before Kate exploded, punching the side wall of the elevator. Castle flinched.

"I HATE elevator music. The damn shit is annoying, it's not even music," she snarled. Her burning eyes swept around the elevator landing on Castle for a moment then moved on, quickly scanning for something. Her gaze made him shiver, wild and angry was a fearsome look on Katherine Beckett.

Her eyes burned a hole in something just above his head and she stalked toward him gripping one of her high heels like a weapon. Castle scrambled out of the way, he really didn't want to be shoed.

A loud cacophony of CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! issued through the tiny metal room bouncing off the walls. The echoes died slowly leaving only the ring of utter silence and the whirring of the moving elevator. When Castle finally had the courage to look up and pry open his eyelids he found a flushed Beckett leaning against the wall beneath a shattered speaker that no longer dared to utter another note of elevator music. After he paid for a replacement speaker he would have to suggest that the apartment supers chose a music selection other than the genre deemed elevator music… classical music would be a better bet and less likely to get the speaker shoed into silence.

The final ding of the elevator told the pair that they had at last come to their destination. Kate stumbled forward shrugging off Castle's helpful gesture with a glare.

"_Note to self: irritability still in the forefront of emotions," _thought Castle as he unlocked his door.

He entered his home in a rush to get Kate inside and away from any possible escape only to panic considerably when he found his daughter standing in the kitchen with his mother. Both women were supposed to be away for the night.

"What are you doing here?" he asked them bewildered.

His daughter looked at him in concern and his mother chuckled.

"Well Richard-" began Martha.

But the rest of her words were cut off by a squeal of childish excitement.

"PIGTAILS!" Beckett yelled excitedly as she bounded past Castle and towards his daughter, who indeed was wearing her golden red hair in pigtails. Quick as lightening Beckett tugged lightly on Alexis' pigtails and took off running. His daughter looked after the detective in shock, giggled, and then turned an accusing eye at her father.

"Richard, dear… what did you do to our darling detective?" Martha asked with an eyebrow raised.

Rick's response was cut off by a loud shrieking giggle as said detective rode down the banister of the stairs. Euphoria and energy were once again front runners in her arsenal of Meth altered senses.

"You didn't get her drunk with the express intention of bedding her did you?" Martha inquired with interest.

"Mother!"

"Grandma!" came the simultaneous shocked and appalled replies.

Castle shook his head and explained, "Our assignment went awry and Detective Beckett inhaled some Meth."

Martha grimaced and Alexis gasped in horror.

"Why isn't she in the hospital?!" Alexis questioned in concern.

Rick shook his head, "She wouldn't go, said she was fine. The paramedics gave her the okay but required that someone watch her for the next twenty-four hours."

"Did they administer the counter agent and put her on a drip? Cause she really can't go without those." Alexis asked genuinely upset by the detective's unfortunate predicament.

"They took care of it, sweet heart" Rick replied putting a comforting arm around his daughter, pleased that his daughter was so attached to the detective, "She'll be fine. We just have to wait till she gets it all out of her system."

"Have you checked her temperature, Dad? Occasionally Methamphetamine can cause hyperthermia and a person's temperature can reach as high as 108 degrees."

Rick raised his eyebrows in surprise, "And how is it that my wonderful daughter has such an extensive knowledge of methamphetamine?"

"It was my final project last year in health. Remember? I was partnered with Cassidy and we spent two weeks stuffed up in my room working on it."

"Ah, yes. I remember thinking I had a second daughter." Rick said with a grin, "What ever happened to her? The two of you seemed to get a long great."

Alexis sighed sadly, "She moved to Nevada. We still email and IM occasionally."

Castle tugged on a pigtail attempting to cheer up his daughter, Alexis giggled.

Kate skipped back into the kitchen and practically knocked Rick over as she wrapped her arms around his stomach clamping his arms to his sides.

"Alexis, Martha," she said in greeting, an impish grin spreading across her face as she eyed Alexis' pigtails. "What do you say we give your father some matching pigtails?" she proposed to the younger red head.

Alexis laughed, "I'm in."

"No,no. Mother, please," protested the frantic author as he tried to wiggle out of the detective's iron grip.

"Sorry, Richard. I'm going to go grab the camera." Martha said flouncing off.

*******************

Threat of the day: Review or get bitten and turned into a blooming frog…that's how the prince became a frog… so watch it! Or your fate will be the same but instead of a princess (or prince depending upon your gender…or in today's society…gender preference lol) kissing you and turning you back I'm exporting you to any country that eats frog legs….you shall be legless!!!! No not Legolas from Lord of the Rings, LEGLESS as in no legs!

**FYI: Drugs are not fun like I portray them to be for most of this story. I realize that I make Kate seem hilarious and kinda fun on Meth but drugs are a serious thing that can ruin your life and those around you. I feel the need to say this to those people who lack brain cells and don't realize the effect doing drugs has on you and those around you.** I've been on the receiving end of having a druggie in my life and it's not pretty and still to this day has had repercussions in my life and I wasn't even the one on drugs. **So drug use seems almost silly and inconsequential in this story but it's not. Hey! Don't roll your eyes at me…that's mean *pouts*** And yes I realize my D.A.R.E. speech is so elementary school lol God I hated those seminars tho they did get us out of class and yes I thought red ribbon week was lame (still do but that's because even when I was young not doing drugs was a no brainer and just damn common sense and if I had to listen to another stupid lecture I was gonna strangle someone lol) For those of you not in the states, D.A.R.E. and red ribbon week are basically lectures and seminars that Americans suffer their children to sit through in school from elementary to high school age teaching about drug awareness and side effects, etc. It really is a great program but hell when you listen to it five years in a row the American children do nothing but groan and mock it.


	10. Porcupines and Missing Detectives

THEY LIED! The EARTH IS FLAT! I fell off the face for ummm im gonna take a Thor-forsaken guess and say like four months. Don't even get me started on those four months just don't let's just say my muse and my frickin' happy go lucky abandoned my sorry flat ass and then other things got in the way but that's the way "the cookie crumbles" So I swear to all that is Greek if any of you neglect to review this next chapter and so much as whimper about how long it took me to get it out I will shove a small furry Worble-dorf up or down every single orifice on your body that you'll never dare defy my wishes for reviews…..*cough* uhhhhhh so now that my bipolar b!tch side (Karen) has ranted my sunny side (Sarah) would like to say how sorry she is and beg forgiveness for her dalliance and delay. Hugs and kisses now let's get our Porcupine on!...you'll understand the reference in a moment…

!~~~~~~~~~~~~~!

The teenager and hopped up detective may have started out with two tiny tufts sticking out from the top of the famous author's head like weird fuzzy stalk antennas but they ended with a head that resembled something much like a porcupine with a bunch of tiny colorful elastic hair bands around each "quill".

Alexis quickly snapped a picture with her phone before her father could hide his face then swiftly jumped to her feet as her father lunged for her to no avail.

"I'm heading over to Carla's for the night, Dad."

Castle smiled in relief and gratitude towards his daughter. Beckett was in a good mood now but there was no telling if that would change.

"Did you need to me to have a car pulled up?"

"Nah. Gram is going to take me. She's going over to Bob's to 'practice her lines'" Alexis said with a small smile and a roll of her sparkling blue eyes.

Castle grimaced, "Don't say it like that"

"Hey," Alexis said holding up her hands in defense, "I'm just telling you what she told me…and if I have to suffer so do you. She's _your_ mother."

"You ready to go, Kiddo?" Martha asked waltzing into the room.

Alexis nodded, gave Beckett a quick hug. and pecked her father on the cheek.

Beckett sighed sadly as she watched the young whirl wind head out the door. A dark haunted look passed over the detective's face, scaring Castle but it was quickly replaced by the sunny, hyper disposition of a jack rabbit jacked up on caffeine.

"You look like a carnivorous porcupine man!" Kate said with a giggle.

Castle raised an eyebrow; that was just too weird of a statement to contemplate.

Kate inched closer to him, a disturbing glint in her eyes, "The question is…do you bite?" she purred.

It took a few moments for Castle to get his bearings after that comment and the tease of red tongue darting across plump perfect lips that accompanied it.

A car horn blasted through an open window startling them from the haze of attraction.

Beckett bounded to the window sticking her head into the cool night air.

"NYPD. KEEP THE NOISE DOWN OR I'LL ARREST YOU FOR…FOR TICKING ME OFF AND RUINING THE MOMENT!"

Castle stifled a laugh and went to pull her back from the window sill, she was leaning a little too far out for his liking.

She swatted his hands away and skipped to his living room and sat primly on his couch.

"Let's watch a movie"

Her statement was not a request it was full of demand that commanded to be followed.

Castle was slightly taken aback, "Um…okay…what do you want to watch?"

Beckett scrunched up her nose in a way that reminded Castle of Alexis in kindergarten when she was contemplating a particularly difficult question.

"Anything action packed absolutely no sappy romances those are the worst!" Beckett exclaimed.

Castle raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. He'd expected Beckett to be a secret sucker for the romantic.

They went through all one hundred of his action collection before he remembered he'd promised to pre-screen a new action movie premiering in a month. He led Beckett to his home theater and they sat in the cushioned chairs.

"Wow…it's just like the movie theaters!" Beckett exclaimed, greatly impressed.

"Yeah. And we just got the latest and greatest surround sound installed" Castle said excitedly like a little boy who'd just gotten the latest action figure.

"Well come on, start it up!" she said impatiently.

"Alright, alright. Don't get your panties in a twist."

"You keep assuming I'm wearing underwear." She said with flippancy that was ruined by her sly smile.

Castle quickly dimmed the lights settling the theater into pitch darkness to cover his blush.

"Assuming makes an ass out of you and makes me laugh my ass off…seeing as I'm not wearing underwear." Beckett added.

Castle quickly began the movie.

The movie turned out to be fantastic, absolutely amazing. and utterly captivating even the sugar high rabid squirrel that was Beckett had stopped fidgeting after the first fifteen minutes. That would be something to mention to the creators, 'Yes your movie is fantastic even meth heads will love it'. Castle chuckled out loud at his silent joke then raised the lights.

Shit….Shit…Shit…

Maybe meth heads don't like the movie. Maybe the caretaker shouldn't get so absorbed in the end of a movie they forget to check on their meth addled charge.

Castle bolted from his chair frantically scanning the room for any sign of his detective...there was none

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

Ok don't hate on me for leaving a cliff hanger after not updating in forevs.

But i promise if all my usual reviewers and some new ones review I won't take more than a couple days for the next chapter...I promise with a pinky on the side which means it's unbreakable :)

I love you all please pweez don't abandon me I need you to review my soul is at stake!...and you want your orifices to stay Worble-dorf free right?


	11. Found but would rather be lost

I promised soon and look I kept that promise so if I don't get my reviews…I'm not a meth induced detective with savy moves but…I did take Karate. HIYA! I karate chop you!

!~!~!~!~!~!~

It was a frantic lunge for the front door. If the top lock was still locked she was somewhere in his very very large penthouse…unless of course she'd taken his keys. Where were his keys?

He frantically patted himself down then remembered with a sigh that he'd hidden his keys in a box in the kitchen…just in case.

His frantic thundering run veered towards the kitchen…it wouldn't hurt to check. He climbed onto the kitchen countertop and began to panic when he couldn't find the box on top of the cabinet. He calmed slightly as his fingertips brushed the cool metal box.

He needn't have worried...

"CASTLE!" came the furious roar.

He tumbled backwards from the kitchen counter and landed with a hard smack and a gasp. He was definitely going to bruise, at least she wasn't roaming around his building or worse outside.

"CASTLE!"

"Coming, Coming" he grumbled, wincing as he picked himself up off the tiled floor.

He hobbled slowly through a few rooms searching for what he could only guess by the tone was a livid detective.

"Beckett?" he yelled, giving up, she could be in any number of rooms.

"Castle…"

He jumped as the hard, angry voice traveled from the room just across the hall and he gulped.

She was in the study.

He stifled a groan; there could be any number of things she was angry about in that room.

There was that one particular picture he'd paid a photographer for so they wouldn't publish it. The picture wasn't an unflattering actually in truth it was completely the opposite and that was the problem. The photographer had stood at just the right angle. Little was left to the imagination in the shot and though her head was angled down and away from the camera in respite it looked as if she'd posed that way, lips pouty, eyes teasingly turned away as if daring the viewer to come after her. God only knew what every man in America might do with that picture. Sure, he should have just burned the damn thing but he couldn't bring himself to do it. And, maybe, he shouldn't have framed it but he hadn't wanted it to get ruined.

Maybe, she was mad about his latest manuscript, thirty minutes was enough time to get to the steamier sections…he really hoped he'd changed the names but really who did she think he imagined when he wrote those scenes, the characters _were_ based off of them.

But, then again, it could be today's newspaper article. He could only thank God that they'd gotten an early call so she hadn't the chance to read it this morning.

New York Times:

"Castle and his muse were spotted yesterday in Au Paris, a popular spot for couples, holding hands as they exited the restaurant. Does this mean they really are a couple? Castle's publisher gave this telling statement: He has his own life that he does with as he pleases with those that please him"

Of course Gina _would_ throw him under the bus like that, 'It's good for sales and free publicity. Keep up the good work, Rick' was all she said when he'd called desperate for her to make another statement. He'd only grabbed Beckett's hand to look at the bracelet Lanie had given her and then he'd kept a hold of it to piss her off. He'd gotten a twist of the ear, which of course the journalist had failed to mention, but it had been worth it. They'd been at Au Paris because he'd been raving about it all week and then decided, on a whim, that he'd take the whole gang out for lunch only they'd all bailed at the last second, he was still suspicious about that. Lanie's excuse about a fresh body was reasonable but Ryan and Esposito's forgotten paper work seemed sketchy, they'd do anything to get out of paperwork.

He trudged slowly into the study. Beckett angry was a sight to see and one he knew well but who knew what a meth induced anger would be like directed at him. He shuddered, he'd seen what she'd done to that speaker in the elevator and he really wished he had updated his will.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~

One minute he was up right and the next he was on his knees pain shooting through his left arm, a volatile Katherine Beckett loomed over him doing something extremely paralyzing to his whole body by contorting his left hand.

"I think you have something to tell me." She said dangerously as she tweaked his hand and sent sharp pains shooting through his body.

Even through the haze of pain he noticed how beautiful she looked, the lights of the study set an ethereal glow about her hair that matched her look of wrath and fury.

"Now would be a really good time." She said through clenched teeth.

He shook his head clearing his distracted thoughts. He had no idea which one of the many things she'd come across and if he got it wrong he'd be in a larger hole than he already was.

"Now Beckett, let's be reasonable-" He began then stuttered to a halt as she released his hand and stepped back.

Uh oh…this was not good. This hadn't even crossed his mind.

She stood, one hand on her cocked hip, eyes burning, as she held a poster that swung slowly from her hand.

He gulped and reiterated his earlier bought of 'shit'.

"Oh, you're in for a whole pile of shit, mister," she barked.

He jumped in fright and realized he'd spoken his worry out loud.

"This! This…" Jerky movements belied just how much she was containing her outrage and she seemed to be at a loss for words which only spiraled her into further darkness.

"I swear I was going to tell you."

"_GOING_ to tell me! _Going_ to _tell_ me!" she screeched, "Like you told me about the cover of the first book? How about the second? When were you _going _to tell me about…_this_? When it was too late for me to say absolutely _not_?"

!~!~!~!~!~!

Fuzzy bunnykins! What is the poster for? What's on the poster that has her in a rage? Is it a publicity stunt is it something more heinous? Tune in next week to find out!

Oh look at that another cliffy *absorbs pouts and glares* I'm going to guess you didn't like me leaving it there…well too bad! You have to give me more reviews before I give you more story oh and btw I pretty much have the next chappy written sooo…the faster you review the faster you get the chapter! :D wahahahahaha-ahhhhh *runs away screaming from the pitch forks*


	12. That's a Frack me Poster

Ooooo! I bet I made y'all nervous didn' I? I bet you thought it'd b months before another update _  
Sorry I didn't get back to ya sooner but I had some tech difficulties. Yuck!  
If you so much as dare not to give me a review….I'll stick my pet spider, Janice, on you! One bite from her and you puff up like a balloon and float away…like the evil aunt in Harry Potter ^_^ Hee!

!~!~!~

"Look, okay" he said frantically putting his hands up in gesture of surrender as she stalked towards him, "I don't have any influence -"

"NO INFLUENCE? You own the goddamn rights! And who was bragging just the other day about them wanting your help-"

"With the script!" he yelled as she dragged him into the heat of the moment.

She glared.

"…ok and maybe some of the scenes but nothing else. I swear."

"When did you know?" she asked quietly, deadly.

"A few days."

She opened her mouth to scream but he cut her off.

"I was just trying to get up the courage to tell you…I was going to take you out to a nice restaurant we'd have a nice dinner maybe laugh and then, well…"

"Coward." She growled.

He chuckled nervously, "Hey! I had to ensure that I'd have lots of witnesses in case you pulled your gun on me."

"I think after I showed them why I was so upset you wouldn't have anyone to corroborate your account." A hint of a smile played at her mouth.

He relaxed a little, it's always better when she joked back…though her smile seemed a little vicious…

"Look I'm really sorry." He said with wide eyes begging. He truly was remorseful.

This poster was nothing like his book covers, he never would have dared. Perhaps he should have introduced the producers and crew to Beckett.

"I tried everything I could think of. I tried paying them, they refused. I tried my lawyer, she said there's nothing I can do. I even sat down with the legal papers with Alexis and we've yet to find anything helpful…"

"Alexis knows?" Kate groaned.

Castle shrugged sheepishly, "They were standing right there when I opened it up."

"They? Your mother saw it too? Oh God."

"It's going to be all over the world in a couple months." Castle said with an exasperated shrug, not the smartest sentence.

The poster fluttered to the floor and he blinked, his eyes went round as he was violently pinned to wall of his study her forearm pressing painfully into his collarbone.  
He was going to be sore tomorrow.

"Really _not_ a good idea to mention, Castle. I can barely contain the urge to rip out your throat right now. You're lucky the Meth is wearing off."

"Or you just really love me and would never truly hurt me, Detective" he quipped; he really should learn not to joke when he gets nervous.

She growled then froze, "world…WORLD? I'd like to think that was just an expression but I know how anal you are about words, Richard"

He tried to swallow but her forearm dug painfully into his windpipe, "There might be a couple premiers in London, Paris, Tokyo, and a couple other major cities." He rasped.

She backed away, stunned and he gathered much need air into his lungs.

"Do you have any idea what this is going to do to me? My career? My image at the precinct?" She screeched.

"But it's not you!" he protested.

"That's the thing isn't it, Castle? She looks just like me. Everything you write is _based_ off _me_, you've said so a thousand times to people you've barely met to interviewers in magazines and television. You've referred to me as you muse no matter how many times I've threatened you with bodily harm _**and**_ I was attacked by a psycho who refused to acknowledge that my name was not Nikki Heat. As much as I deny it, to other people I am her and she is me" Beckett babbled in an angry rush.

"But-"

"It wasn't so bad when it was books, Castle. Half the guys in the precinct are illiterate unless it comes to magazines with pretty girls in it. Sure a few of them got their interest piqued but they got bored the minute they saw it was over twenty pages but a movie? There is not one person in the precinct that's going to miss seeing that movie, not one."

"You said-"

"I know what I said, Castle. And I really didn't mind, it was actually kind of flattering and fascinating but this…" she said waving the poster with snapping force, "This is not what I had in mind." She dropped the poster in disgust and rubbed her face tiredly as she sat down in his chair.

"And yet you should have expected it." She muttered darkly to herself.

Castle picked up the abused poster and stared at it, he'd been too embarrassed when he'd first unrolled it to really look at it.

She was right…she usually was. But, he'd already known that it looked like her because he'd yelped when he'd opened it then quickly rolled it back up.

"Nikki Heat" stared up at him posed seductively from the waist up and apparently nude not counting her badge and holstered gun. He say's apparently nude because shadows cover all the important appropriate…inappropriate… parts. Who's to say she's not wearing a short tank top and low rider jeans…wishful thinking, he knows. Her face is shadowed as well and either they found an amazing stand in for Beckett or they superimposed her face…he wouldn't doubt it.

The nose is just the right shape and the lips are just the right shade and only the hair is off by a few shades but the long style is just right and you can't see her eyes so it's not like they can accuse anyone of anything. He knows why she's so upset and so is he but now probably wouldn't be the best time to mention that there are other posters in his email box that are just as provocative…more so do to the fact that other countries are more…lenient in their measurements of provocative…art forms.

The poster is yanked from his grasp and crushed violently between angry hands and he winces. He rubs his sore neck and knows it could have been worse; she could have found the letter from Gina chewing him out for missing his deadline for the next chapter. Gina, stating specific intimate details of doing something in particular with the "slutty 'Nikki Heat' of his dreams" to "get it out of his system" and "stop following around (his) wet dream and focus on meeting the deadlines", had been very…explicit and generally graphic in her statements.

Beckett storms from his study and Castle is snapped from his thoughts glad to be away from a potentially dangerous room. He was really regretting taking her to his house but he knows she probably would have refused to let him into her private domain plus his house had seemed so much more fun and relaxed at the time.

Beckett stuffed the crumpled poster in her bag muttering about taking it home and burning it. She whirled towards Castle's hovering form and glared, crossing her arms.

"I'm bored."

Castle raised an eyebrow.

"Entertain me."

!~~~~!

Giggle. What will he think of to keep her occupied…hopefully not hide and seek _  
So ya'll didn't review fast enough last time so I didn't cough up the chapter sooner you rectify that and…we'll see what kind of mood I'm in….

PURPLE GOO if NO REVIEW! (it rhymes *beams with pride ^_^)


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